Authoritarian
VR Chat Dev
Has a PhD
Actively targets CS majors
victim of MKULTRA
Masters Student
All their friends are employed
Rogrets pursuing higher education
Hasn’t been outside since March 2020
CCP Cybersecurity
Engineer
Independent
Game Developer
Proudly steals
games for $4.99 on Steam, sells 3 copies total per month
on behalf of the CCP
Legacy Codebase
Programmer
Maintains a codebase
Only person in the
company
Linux Kernel
Engineer
Has a git alias
The CS Professor
knows crery data structure, can’t center a div in CSS
commands
Doesn’t even own a computer.
all Homework is done on paper
Devops
Hasn’t slept for 72 hours
On call 24/7
Can’t get another job because all
Fixes critical bugs,
Unemployed
Asp.Net Dev
Graduate
Only knows Ce and SQL,
thinks every new language is a passing
Has a decent GPA, can’t write a resume
fad Will not touch a computer outside of work
Applied to 200 jobs,
Laid Off Engineer
replaced by a new graduate anyway
Linkedin profile updated
Open To Work”
Minecraft Modder
Will literally only program for
Minecraft
All-Women Startup
1.7M followers on Linkedin, dilligently posting about toxic male culture in STEM
“Disrupting”
Has an office in an upcoming
Nashville
Carbon Developer
Language released 2 weeks ago, somehow already an expert
Vill fervently defend Carbon on slll forms of social media
177.3K points on Stack Overflow
Knows deep down
athan will he
abandoned by Googl anyway
Open-Source
Developer
Started coding after they watched the Matrix
AAA Game Dev
Worked 98 hours this week
Tries to interact with gamers on witter, gets targed for chameters
in their game
JavaScript Dev Never went to college, started programming at age 7
Lives off
Knows
17 IS
rameworks
Burnt out by age 25
Developed entire Cr
has $10 in their
Investment Firm
Developer
One of 3 devs in the whole company
Misde S66k in bonuses
Government
Contractor
Makes below-average salary
Projeot ended 6 months ago, gets paid
Browses Reddit all day
FAANG Engineer
Has solved every Leetcode program
Makes $300k/year, doesn’t spend it
Will code after
work
L
Severe Aspergers
no rol
Data Science
Engineer
Doneer moo
Statistics degree
Works for an
Eastern European
Developer
Makes $15k/year
Will accept any GitLab ticket, doesn’t argue
Empornium Admin
Expert in peer-to-peer data transfer
Website UI hasn’t changed since
Growing collection
Libertarian
Lockheed Martin
Rocket Telemetry
Engineer
Top-secret clearance
Devout patriot
Siste monuts
The Fed
Hunts child predators on the deep web
Active member of 27 extremist Discord
went to school on
GI Bill benefits
Engineer on
HR-mandated
Paid Leave
ample evidence of sexual harasament on Microsoft Teams logs
Will get fired in 2 weeks
Electrical Engineer
Took one programming class in college 70% of their job now is writing code
Spent countless hours learning MatLab, will never use it in their career
NSA cybersecurity asset
Will be assassinated by the government vis remote car hack after they’ve completed their
00019
The Saudi
Exchange Student
Went to an American university
Returned to
The Job Hopper
Will switch jobs every 12 months, set:
Knows not to talk
Contributes bare
spends all day on 4Chan
John McAfee
Wanted by federal authorities had a chance to cush out carly,
1462
Dies under questionable
circumstances
Python Developer
Will never use another language
Spends 5 hours automating 5 minute
Defense Contractor
Contributes to development of autonomous weapons
“Someone will do it anyway”
Schizophrenic
Developer
Developed Tempicos
Has a
documentary by Nexpo and Wendigoon
Silk Road Admin
Wanted by the FBI
Only uses public WiFI and Tails
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