STOP DOING AGILE
• REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERY TWO WEEKS
• YEARS of ESTIMATING yet no real-world evidence of anything getting done faster
• “In order to reduce process we add more process” – statement dreamed up by the UTTERLY DERANGED
• POKER is a GAME not a PLANNING TOOL
• T-shirt size estimation belongs in the CLOTHING STORE not SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT
• “Points represent complexity, not time”
YET YOU KEEP MEASURING HOW MANY POINTS FIT IN A WEEK??
• People who want to “BURN DOWN” belongs in JAIL not run software teams
• Same goes for people doing GROOMING
This is REAL SCRUM done by REAL scrum masters:
Planning
Work
ACTUAL
Start:
50 points
Done:
70 points
Remaining: 100 points
IDEAL
?????
???
????
They have played us for absolute fools
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